Saturday, March 1, 2008

Thoughts on Into the Wild

When I was young, I suffered from a black depression. It would last 2 days to a week a couple of times a month. When I got older, I stumbled across a yoga technique called bellows breathing. I ended up doing the technique three hours a day for a year as a way to end my black depression. Everyone around me thought I was nuts. For me it was an inner journey, where the young man in the movie goes on an external one.

What I discovered on this inner journey is that the energy in my body is a medium between my thoughts and my physical body. That the paths the energy flows through my body is a reflection of my thoughts, but also, as the energy goes out and fuses into the flesh, memories and states of feeling are held in place, in a sense, in the muscles of the body.

The cause of my black depression was that the energy flow in my body was seriously constricted, but I wasn't aware of the constrictions. If anyone has had the flu and had bodily aches, those aches are constrictions in the body's energy flow. Open up the constrictions, you don't feel bad; you just have a slightly running nose.

But, in black depression, the constrictions don't manifest as pain.

When I did the bellows breathing, in different parts of my body the flow of energy would increase. When that increased flow encountered a restriction, it would, over time, open up the restricted energy flow. Over that year I opened up restricted flows in my legs, arms, stomach, chest, lower and upper back, then my head and face.

After that year, I rarely experienced a black depression; I get a whiff of it once a year for a fews hours and it's a reminder that I need to meditate more deeply, eat better, get some mental rest.

When I went through this process, for the first time in my life I felt I really knew something; I understood how my body and mind and energy body functioned together. I knew something that no one could take away from me.

I've never run into anyone else who went through the same process, but Kriya Yoga does teach how to open up the major channels in the spine and brain.

Black depression is a terrible ordeal. I used to describe it as fading to black.